The Show Must Go On (but God, I’m tired)

Wrestle the shakes,
Let out a tear or two,
Prepare the smile you have to fake—
Darling, you know what you have to do.

It's okay to cry out of sight,
Tremble if you need,
But make them think you're alright,
Strong is what you have to be.

Wipe those tears,
Get your face dry,
Bury those thoughts and fears,
Another day has to go by.

Work full time,
Manage the family and home,
Running constantly,
The only one without a moment alone.

The hours blur together,
Another day you fight through,
Every minute spoken for,
Every breath a task, a cue.
And still no one sees the weight
Of all that’s carried inside you.

And try is all you ever do,
Even when you want to quit.
Sometimes the trying breaks you,
And all you want
Is to be nothing
For just a little bit.

But the doing never ends,
Needs constantly need met,
Sometimes a break seems like a dream,
And peace something I'll never get.

My home has become another job,
And my actual job makes me feel easily replaced,
Sometimes I don't want to get out of bed,
Another day seeming unbearable to face.

I'm tired of having to be strong,
I'm tired of having to always be tough,
Sometimes no matter what I do,
It feels like it will never be enough.

I feel so disconnected,
Sometimes like I'm spiraling,
Things that used to bring me joy
Now too often seem so tiring.

Don’t want to be at work,
Don’t want to be at home,
Surrounded by faces,
Yet still so alone.

This life… I’ve built it piece by piece,
Every sacrifice, every choice,
But now instead of a leading role,
I’m supporting cast,
A role with no voice.

Lights, camera, action—
Gotta put on that show,
They’ll ask if you’re okay,
But truth is no one really wants to know.

So on autopilot I stay,
Every day a new mask,
Just make it through the day,
Just make it through the next task.

Spinning in my head now,
As I feel I am in life,
Replaying every choice I’ve made,
Questioning if anything I’ve done is right.

Stressing the future,
Missing moments of the past,
Wishing time could slow down—
I don’t remember it moving this fast.

Worried one day I’ll wake up
And learn it’s my final scene—
Final cut, that’s a wrap—
Just a shadow fading from the screen.

Never having found who I was meant to be,
Never knowing who I was,
Just moving through the motions,
Existing… because I must.

I don’t have all the answers,
I don’t even know where I’m going—
I just know I’m still here,
Still healing, still growing.

Life can be difficult,
Every day a new act—
but in this world, there are no scene redos,
One take, no turning back.

But something in me has been stirring,
A voice I once forced to be quiet—
Now a thundering roar grows louder,
Saying we’re not done yet.

Pushed out of the limelight of my own life,
I’m stepping back to center screen—
Tired of dimming my light for others,
It’s time to finally be seen.

I’m taking my life back
before it expires,
Because regardless—
the show must go on…
but God, I’m tired.

Author’s Note:
I wrote this from a place of exhaustion, honesty, and quiet survival.
If you’ve ever held yourself together when you were breaking, or kept moving when all you wanted was to rest, I hope you find yourself in these lines.
We don’t have to be unbreakable to keep going.
Sometimes just being here is enough.

Choose another door,
enter when ready.

Back to the beginning of the maze

Return to the things I write.